Recently I spent my second intake at a psych ward. My body was going through a manic episode. The last visit I stayed 1 & 1/2 Months. It was a scary experience but it saved my life. I have hope now. I suffered a stress and substance induced psychosis and mania brought on by a new job, new living space and withdrawal from marijuana.
Currently I have to get injected once a month and take all my medication twice a day. I have hard days as well as good days. I must remain hopeful. I am being treated for Bi-Polar disorder but it’s not clear to me or the psychiatrist if I’m bi-polar or not. This could just be a substance induced mood disorder. Time will tell. Psychosis is scary and something I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy. Before being admitted into the hospital I was delusional. I couldn’t tell the difference between reality or fantasy. I thought I was invincible and I thought I was the smartest person in the room. My ego was out of check. It was all part of my illness. I got out of the psych ward on October 29th, 2018 and I haven’t been back since. I’ve been doing a lot better. More good days than bad days. On the mend but I have to take life on life’s terms. Let go and trust god.
Mental illness is real but it’s treatable and you can live a good life. I have a phobia of needles so the monthly Abilify shot is hard and the two week blood draws can be difficult but I get through it. If I don’t smoke weed or drink I have a chance at a healthy, normal life and I must accept that. There are lots of resources available. Sometimes the hardest part is to ask for help. But there’s help out there and you are never ever alone. Hope my story can help someone. Love and hugs.